A father is said to be a daughter’s first love. My father is more than that to me — he is the first person who truly taught me how to be gentle. Now that I am forty-five, I find myself reflecting on his life, the quiet strength he carried, and the kindness he never lost despite how hectic and noisy the world became.
Big, dramatic lessons were not my dad’s style. They were not needed for him. He only had to live, day after day, to show me what patience and respect truly meant. It is in his calm manner, his way of listening, and the way he spoke to everyone who came his way — no raised voice, no talking down to anyone.
I still remember one memory as if it happened yesterday. At ten years of age, I had dropped a glass bowl, being as awkward as ever. I prepared myself to be scolded. Instead, he bent down, checked my hands for cuts, and helped me clean up. “Beta, it’s just a thing. Are you okay?” he said softly. Something in me changed at that moment. He showed me that true strength is gentle, not harsh or loud. People always come first.
For him, respect is everything — not the upward kind, but respect for everyone. He treated the family driver and the street vendor with the same decency he gave to everyone else. He never ignored anyone and always listened intently. Watching him, I learned that real gentleness is about seeing the worth in every person, every single day.
But do not assume for a moment that he was weak or easily manipulated. Beneath that patience lay a steel backbone. He repeatedly told me, “Never bow to wrongdoing.” He didn’t say it to sound tough; he lived it. He wouldn’t back down, even when threatened with losing his job. He taught me that doing the right thing often requires courage, and that being strong doesn’t mean screaming. Those lessons stayed with me.
Now, as I stand up for someone being treated unfairly or sit quietly with my two boys when they are upset, I hear his steady voice reminding me to do the right thing, even when it is the hard thing. From him, I learned that the loudest argument doesn’t win. You win goodwill by being patient and kind, yet immovable in your principles. His quiet, unassuming example spoke louder than any lecture.
At 75, his hair is silver, and his hands are still soft when he places them on my head to bless me. In that single gesture lives everything he taught me — integrity, gentleness, and the kind of man he hoped I would become. I hope I live up to that. Gentleness is not weakness. It is a controlled strength, born from courage, compassion, and respect. To be a gentle leader is a choice you make again and again in a world that so easily forgets it.
I see him reflected in the choices I make — when I respond instead of react, when I think instead of judge. He taught me the power in that difference. To react is instinct. To respond is wisdom — the kind of calm strength he lived all his life. That choice of gentleness is its own kind of power. Not the kind the world celebrates, but the power of mastering your own ego and temper.
He didn’t live a life full of things the world would applaud. His legacy lives in the small courtesies he showed daily, in his immovable integrity, and in the quiet leadership he embodied. Now it is my turn with my own children — to be for them what he was for me. I hope I can be that.
Gentle. Steady. An immovable rock.
Image Courtesy: https://www.pexels.com/@pavel-danilyuk/
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– Bhawana Sethi
About the Writer
Meet Bhawana Sethi – an educator, poet, and storyteller whose creative spirit shines through everything she does. Based in Bangalore, where she now teaches phonics after more than two decades in Delhi classrooms, Bhawana brings both experience and heart into her work.
Her debut poetry collection, Tapestry of Soulful Stanzas, beautifully explores themes of devotion and love, offering readers a glimpse into her lyrical world. She is also venturing into fiction with her upcoming romantic comedy, The Grammar of Love, a delightful tale that contrasts a methodical literature teacher with a free-spirited art teacher. Alongside this, she is crafting a children’s fiction book, curating thoughtful blogs, and engaging actively in writing community challenges.
Beyond the written word, Bhawana finds joy in the kitchen, where cooking becomes another form of her artistry. You can follow her creative journey on Instagram at @soulful_articulation.
