Invest and Indulge in Relationships

Author: Dr. Gurpreet Singh Battu

Disclaimer: The following abstracts have been very craftily attributed to experienced persons, author has just compiled them. Do not try this at home.

What is the major cause of divorce? Marriage.
What is the major cause of extramarital affairs? Marriage, again.

So what is in marriage that drives someone to extramarital affairs?

There are many perspectives to it. First and foremost is tendency of spouses to take each other for granted.

And, offshoot of that is, lack of investment in the relationship. If a couple is in relationship before marriage, or without marriage, they spend time with each other and take care to keep the other person happy. They don’t want to lose each other. The threat of losing each other is practically eliminated by marriage. That is when the effort to maintain that relationship weans off. Add to that the pressure of family, work, daily chores, and a potentially lethal concoction is ready to poison the pious relationship.

A female seeks emotional comfort from someone who is available and understands. For men, the reasons of extramarital affairs can be same – when wife is busy looking after kids, taking care of the house and job, and is unable to satisfy emotional or physical needs of the husband. Other reason for men, can be just for the kill. Chances of anyone indulging is extramarital relations increase when the married life becomes mechanical and monotonous. Investment in relationship in terms of time, interest, surprises, indulgence and experimentation are must to keep the fire going.

Are extramarital affairs bad?
That depends upon the cause and effect of the phenomenon. If there is a genuine cause, that can always be rectified. Occasional healthy flings should cause no problem. Crisis starts when such a fling becomes permanent and starts affecting the marriage. When the man or wife starts ignoring the family for such a reason, matter should be discussed and path rectification done.

What are the catches?
Don’t spy on each other as long as you are happy with each other. Phone texts, calls, contact with ex, are not indications of extramarital. These are social excursions.

Bottom-line?
Invest emotional quotient in your marriage. Keep the flame burning. Ignore harmless slight deviations. Spouses can have good friends in the other gender, accept that.

Happy married life and happy healthy flings.