Author: Swati Tamhankar Mohandas ,
‘Why did he not tell me about what he was going through?` Riya recalls while reeling in the loop of disbelief, guilt and anger.
Riya’s older brother, Rohan had it all or so it seemed – a loving family, group of friends, a good career and his upcoming marriage. By a sudden twist of fate, he took his own life.
Losing a loved one to suicide is an extremely disturbing and difficult grief to go through alone, being with family and friends may not help as people respond differently. Even if people mean well, phrases like, ‘move on’ or ‘there’s nothing you can do about it’, doesn’t help.
Riya wasn’t able to cope with the sudden tragic end of her brother. Her soul ached.
After much deliberation, she went to a self-help group. A group which lets us speak, hears us out and doesn’t judge us. Here, pain is shared and so are experiences associated with the grief. On some level, this grief connects all of us. No personal questions are asked, no advice is given and opinions are kept to themselves. It is just a place for sharing.
This is what Riya wanted – someone to say, ‘I hear you Riya’, hear her thoughts, feelings and this group helped her by merely listening to her. This is the sort of healing conversation, Riya was looking for.
Though the grief of losing one’s beloved continues to keep coming back in waves, Riya has begun to find comfort in the memory of her late brother, both happy as well as sad.
If someone who is your near and dear one replies to your question of, ‘How are you?’ with a simple ‘fine’. Do not accept ‘fine’ as good enough. Delve a little deeper. Find out what’s ‘really‘ going on in their life.
Sometimes, we put a brave front by not sharing our innermost feelings even within our close circle of loved ones, assuming that we will be judged and simply put forth a happy demeanour on display. Recent studies show that often those that seem the happiest are in fact the saddest.
To sum it up my point of view is, our mental health must be treated with utmost priority and compassion. Although the perception attached with mental health has considerably improved over the past decade, still the stigma against this issue is powerful and widespread. The rate at which suicides are committed are alarmingly increasing year by year. Coming to terms with suicide for those left behind is hard.
People believe that suicide ends the pain, but really it just passes on.
About the Author:
I am a Philosophy graduate and a certified computer professional from Mumbai and based in Pune with my family from the last 2 decades.
Literature always fancied me. I pen down short stories, blogs, poems and has forayed into freelance content writing. I even published an award-winning book of collected poems titled ‘Myriad Whispers’ which is available on Amazon.
When not writing, I enjoy listening to music, exploring the outdoors and scanning local bookstores.
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